Breaking the Habit
by poeticgrace
Summary: A first date gives Barney Stinson every reason to forget everything he is and finally become who he has always been. Barney/Robin ONE SHOT.


When a girl went on a first date with Barney Stinson, she knew what she was getting. It was a package deal – dinner at the French bistro strategically located halfway between his apartment and his favorite New York hotel, a dozen crimson roses from the best floral boutique in his neighborhood, a ride home in a sleek black town car chauffeured by a towering Italian named Bruno and at the very least, a long kiss at the doorway of her apartment while Barney feigned understanding about his date's reluctance to sleep with him on their first night together. It was a routine that he had perfected in his fifteen years of dating. After having his heart broken once, he had come up with the plan as a way to protect himself but still fulfill his basic needs as a man.

He rarely deviated from his routine only making exceptions when he knew it would impress the woman and land her in bed more quickly. A rare precious few got to see the inside of his apartment, but he preferred to go to her apartment for a swifter exit. If he was afraid that the stalker was going to come out of a woman, he would elect for the hotel. He could make up some lie about apartment renovations or being in town on business. It didn't really matter. He wasn't after an honest relationship with any of the women that he slept with. It was purely about sex, whether they knew it or not. Not once since Shannon had left him had he let himself feeling anything more for these one-night stands. That all changed with Robin.

The last thing Barney had planned on was falling for Robin Scherbatsky. The female embodiment of him in many ways, he never even would have considered the possibility of her after his best friend had fallen for her the first time he saw her. What Ted – what none of them – never knew was that he wasn't the only one who had been enchanted by the Canadian the first night they'd met her. Barney had always harbored a small crush on her but had convinced himself that it didn't matter. It couldn't matter because Ted was his bro, and there were just some places a guy doesn't go. Robin was that place for him. In fact, if she had never kissed him on the sofa while they watched her sappy "Sandcastles in the Sand" video, he would have never gone there. However, one kiss and he was finished. That night with Robin had left him feeling completely undone.

For more than a year, Barney managed to successfully hide his feelings from Robin and his friends until one by one they all discovered his darkest secret. He used his random barrage of bar skanks as a way to not feel the things he felt for Robin. It was hard seeing her every night at MacLaren's without having her. No one saw through his cheap ploys because that was what he had always done, that was who he had always been. However, after he regretfully admitted to Lily his true feelings, he had been forced to come to terms with the impact his one night with Robin was still having on his life. She had been his only confidant in those early months when he would spend his free hours watching saved episodes of Robin's news show on his DVR.

The first time he had almost told Robin his true feelings was at Ted's almost wedding. Robin had shown up wanting to talk, only to find him hooking up with some woman he couldn't remember a week later. He could only remember the disappointment and anguish he had felt after his companion had fallen asleep, leaving him alone with the silence of his own thoughts. Lily had lectured him for more than an hour the next day when Robin had told her the story, but Barney couldn't stand to listen to her. He had stalked off angrily and stayed away from the group for a few days. There was nothing more he hated in the world than someone telling him how he felt, especially when Lily was making him feel things that he didn't want to admit that he felt.

He had managed to play it cool for the next few months until Robin and Ted had started living together. After learning that they had chosen to start hooking up rather than arguing, Barney had taken up the habit of smashing discarded televisions in the alley behind the bar. When he had run out of things to demolish, he had actually bought televisions simply to destroy them. Lily had once again tried to talk sense into him, but Barney didn't want to hear her. Even if he had wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to over the anger screaming inside his head. It was during that angry and surprisingly violent haze that Ted had started to see what had been right in front of him all along – Barney was in love with Robin. They never really talked about it directly, but they both knew that he knew.

With most of the intimate circle now in on his dark secret, it shouldn't have surprised him that Lily finally confided the truth in Marshall. She hadn't meant to, but it had distracted her husband when he was yelling at her about her latest shopping spree. Once he started to think about the events of the past few months, Marshall couldn't believe that he hadn't seen it sooner. He only mentioned to Barney once in passing on a night where Robin had been the one to pick a nameless someone up at the bar and take him home. Barney had nursed tumblers of scotch for more than two hours, ordering round after round of Johnnie Walker Blue until the bottle was empty. It was the first time Marshall, Lily and Ted had seen Barney leave the bar without even trying to hit on a girl since before the whole affair with Robin began.

The secret only remained a secret for one more week after that night. Finally, with shaking hands and a quivering voice, Barney had told Robin the truth about his feelings as they sat on the balcony of his apartment. It was a crisp spring night as the lights of New York glittered around them. With the best Cuban in one hand and a glass of scotch in the other, he had quietly confessed the one thing that scared him the most in the world. There were few things that had the ability to destroy a confident man like Barney Stinson, and Robin Scherbatsky was his kryptonite. Robin had been understandably shocked at his admission. She had never once expected that there was anything more on his end, except maybe for that night when they'd gone for tacos right after she stopped sleeping with Ted. After talking to him for a few more hours, she had gone home with the promise that she would think about it. She called him twenty minutes later and agreed to go on a first date.

And so, here he was, getting ready for his first date with the only woman he had ever loved in his life other than Shannon. Gone was his usual designer Italian suit, perfectly gelled hair, reservations at the upscale French place and carefully plotted scheme to get his date between his very expensive silk sheets. All he had on this night was himself, and he prayed that just being Barney was enough for her. He had gone all out in planning his date with Robin. He wanted to give her something that he had never given another woman. He wanted to give her a piece of him that few had ever seen. He wanted her to see New York through his eyes so that he could fall in love with it like he still did every day he lived in this city. Even more than that, he wanted her to see the man that he really was beneath the slick exterior so that maybe she could fall in love with him and not just his city.

He showed up at her apartment five minutes before he had agreed to pick her up with a bouquet of light pink tulips in hand. He had visited flower shop after flower shop in search of just the right arrangement, remembering how she had told him once that they were her favorite. He checked his reflection in the side mirror of a taxi parked at the curb outside her building. Rather than the Armani he usually wore like armor, he had elected for a pair of faded jeans and a navy hooded fleece for his first date with Robin. Gone were his expensive black leather loafers, replaced by a pair of well-worn Chuck Taylor's he wore around his apartment on Sunday afternoons alone. This was barebones Barney. This was the real him.

His hands were shaking as he reached up and pushed the button for her apartment. Robin silently buzzed him in, permitting him to enter the building and head for the elevator. Barney couldn't remember a time when he was this nervous. He never got nervous on dates anymore. He knew that was only because it didn't really matter how the night progressed. If things didn't work out, there was always a different day with a different girl. However, there would only be one chance for a perfect first date with Robin, and this night counted more than any had since he had lost his virginity all those years ago. For one night, for one perfect woman, he would drop the cocky routine he kept up and not rely on his catchphrases and money to get him by. He would give Robin the true him because she was amazing enough to deserve it.

She was already waiting for him in the hallway when he stepped off onto the floor. Leaning against her door casually, she was the first woman to take his breath away since that time with the Heller twins in Atlantic City. However, unlike that night, it was her sheer beauty that left him breathless and not the promise of a really great story he'd share with his friends later at the bar. "You look stunning," he complimented her as he bashfully handed over the tulips. Robin smiled and blushed slightly as she buried her nose in the fragrant blooms.

"Thanks, Barn," she retorted, sounding much more like a schoolgirl than she would have preferred. She looked over at him and noted that he was a stripped down version of the guy she usually hung out with at MacLaren's. He had told her to dress casually and wear comfortable shoes. Few men would have looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the world in her ratty Adidas sneakers and worn Levi's, but Barney was gaping at her like she could hang the moon. "What do you have planned for tonight?"

Barney adjusted the strap on his messenger bag as he followed Robin into the apartment she still shared with Ted. She went to the kitchen to put the flowers into a vase while he talked to her from the living room. "It's kind of a surprise," he answered, "but I think you'll really like it. It's something I've always wanted to do with the right woman."

Robin had to admit that she was still weirded out by this side of Barney. She knew how to handle the front he put on for the world. She was used to spurning his advances and listening to his incessant tales about the chick he banged the night before. What she hadn't been prepared for was the honest and romantic guy who seemed nervous to be spending the night out with her. It was adorable. "I'm sure it'll be perfect," she assured him as she ushered him toward the door. "Shall we go?"

He nodded thoughtfully as he guided her out of the apartment, his hand resting lightly on the small of her back. The two of them were silent on the ride down to the lobby. People were buzzing around on the sidewalk as they poured out of the apartment building. Barney made small talk as they walked the few blocks it took to reach their primary designation for the night. Robin was slightly surprised when she saw the entrance gates of Central Park looming ahead. She had figured that he would take her to some trendy restaurant or exclusive night club. The last thing she had expected was to end up in a park. Still, she didn't say anything. She had a feeling that they were here for a very specific reason.

Given a few minutes, Barney started to explain to Robin why he had brought her here of all places tonight. "When I was a kid, my mom was kind of a mess. I had no clue who my father was, and other than my brother, I didn't really have much family to speak of," he told her. "We spent a lot of time on our own because my mom was always working. She tried her best to be there for us, but it was hard with her hours. In the summer, James and I would come here a lot. We could spend hours at the park without having to spend very much money."

It was the most Robin had heard Barney talk about his past in a very long time. He rarely spoke of his mother or his childhood. She knew that Barney before Shannon and Barney after Shannon were two very different people. He didn't like to talk about who he was before his heart was broken, and that included his difficult upbringing. "I come here when I miss home," she revealed. "It's about as close to Vancouver as you can get in New York."

Barney smiled at her confession. He liked knowing something so intimate about her. They were headed toward the southeast corner of the park. "My favorite place to come was just off Grand Army Plaza. James and I would pack up a lunch in our backpacks and head off to the pond early in the morning. He would spend the day reading or roller skating, but I liked to sit at the water's edge and watch people. In particular, I liked to watch the families. I was jealous that these kids had normal moms and dads. It was only when I was much older that I realized that there was no such thing as normal and that every problem has its own set of problems."

They were at the pond now. Barney led Robin by the hand over to a brightly lit pocket of grass where he could spread out the contents of his bag. He handed her the cashmere throw first. Even if he was doing it casual tonight, it didn't mean that he wasn't still going to give her the best of everything. Robin spread the olive green throw over the lawn before sitting down in the middle of it. Barney pulled out the picnic that he had packed, one very reminiscent of his childhood days. "We would always bring cheese sandwiches. It was always the generic version of Kraft singles in those days, but my tastes have matured a little," he said as he handed her a brie baguette. He also pulled out fresh strawberries and grapes and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue. "And for dessert…"

Robin grinned as she took the pair of wrapped cigars and the package of Little Debbie cupcakes. It was a strange paradox of innocence and adulthood. "My favorite," she grinned. "Barney, thank you for bringing me here."

"Any time, Scherbatsky," he said coolly as he settled down beside her. They sat side by side for several minutes in silence, eating their sandwiches as they watched the moonlight dance on the glassy surface of the comma-shaped pond. "Hey, Robin?"

"Yeah?"

He sat his glass down on the blanket and turned so that he could meet her blue eyes. "You know that I love you, right?" he asked. "Because I know that I told you how I felt and everything, but I'm not sure that I used those words. Because I do, you know. Love you. I mean, what I'm trying to say is that I love you, Robin."

Barney was the second man to ever tell Robin that he loved her on the first date. However, unlike that disastrous initial meeting with Ted, Robin felt the things that she saw in Barney's eyes. She felt the butterflies when his hand grazed hers accidentally or the fireworks that ignited when he held her gaze just a second too long or the skipped heartbeat when he said her name. His confession didn't scare the hell out of her. It didn't feel like it was too soon. In fact, it felt suspiciously right. She could tell him that she loved him because she did. She had for months now. Instead, she told him what she should have said the night they'd eaten those tacos. "I know."

Tilting his head to the side, Barney couldn't help but smile at her words. He could hear what was going unsaid. "As long as you know," he chuckled before pulling an engraved lighter from his jeans pocket. He lit Robin's cigar and then his own. Leaning back on her palms next to Barney, Robin turned her face toward the stars and admired the celestial view above. Barney watched her for a moment before turning his own gaze skyward, feeling suddenly so in awe.

"Hey, Barney?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe next time we could play laser tag."

_Fin._


End file.
